You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
we should paint friendship bongs
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
