I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
