thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
