How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
