Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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