He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
