So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
