I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My penis needs a shock collar
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
