Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You ruined the universe
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
