ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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