remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
