and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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