there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
