I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
