do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize