Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
