Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
