maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
