Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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