Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
