so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Little spoons don't ask big questions
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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