guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
As shirtless as possible
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
