so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
