I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
