She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
