it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
