My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
