Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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