Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
