if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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