Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
