it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
