Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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