If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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