I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
