The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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