Dual....:-)
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
