Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Randomize
