Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
