awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
This toilet bowl is my home.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
