giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
