yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
