Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
