Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
