Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
