Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
