I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
