this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
