Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I cannot find my penis.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
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