I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
